Monday, February 23, 2004

For whom the bell tolls: What have Karl and the boys wrought?

It is late February and this vile and evil election winter lurches tediously forward. The only hope of a juicy scandal with the man who has been crowned the new JFK seems to have evaporated--there will be no spots on dresses, taped phone conversations or chubby interns with novel ideas about uses for your illegal stash of Cuban cigars. Or at least, for now, as I heard Sean Hannity insinuate yesterday from Border's in Washington.

Oh Drudge, where art thou?

Howard Dean pulled the plug yesterday--finding it is much easier to inflame and impassion those who have heard none of the political drivel before--than energizing those who have heard it all before and found no substance behind his anger. As a card- carrying member of the RNC and proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy, I will miss him. He has tapped into a vein of anger and hatred that Karl and the boys seem to not comprehend. Doctor Dean at least tried to be real and say what he believed rather than what his handler's found politically expedient. Maybe he will go and start a true third party for the growing legions of disaffected from both of the current political machines. I predict there will be many disaffected and unemployed seeking work in November, many from my party, unless President Bush begins to talk with REAL people again-but I get ahead of myself.

Gone also are Senator Joe Lieberman and Congressman Dick Gephardt--two genuinely decent and honest men in a profession populated with crooks, kooks, pathological liars, and sociopaths. While I might disagree with some of their policy prescriptions, both emanated presidential stature and competence. They should be welcome in the new third party.

Which leaves us with the four remaining democrats. We can dispense with Kucinich and Sharpton first, both running only for the joy of the campaign. Dennis Kucinich is a kook, so far out that even my left-wing friends giggle at his name. His ideas sound like conversations you heard when you jogged by people sitting around a bong in college. (Yes, I know there is a problem in Physics in that statement) But that is the beauty of the American political process, where a kook can have their 15 minutes of fame. Al Sharpton and I disagree on many more things, but of all the democrats, he's the one I'd like to spend an evening in Manhattan with. Like Doctor Dean, he has little or no filter on what he says, giving honest and unpredictable answers in a blizzard of canned, spun, predictable political swill.

Unfortunately, we do not have page space today to begin to discuss the new JFK or long-shot pretty boy Senator John Edwards yet. That is because today is a grim day for Republicans as the dark and somber bell is tolling and everybody but Karl Rove and group of political hacks and nitwits knows for whom that bell tolls.

Today, two polls have either John Kerry or John Edwards beating President Bush by double percentage points. Now Karl and the boys will spin this, but this is possibly the biggest political collapse in the history of American politics.

This is the President who led us through 9/11 and began to lower the suffocating taxes that our socialist-inspired, regressive tax structure perpetrates on hard-working people. This is the President who 14 months ago had an almost 85 percent approval rating. This is the President who is man enough to admit he has made mistakes in his life and fixed them.

This is also a president who is making the same mistake his father made and will recognize the hideous sound of the final bell in November unless he manages to actually get some advice from REAL people: The messages this year are killing you and Karl and the boys are as out of touch as some of the hacks that led your father to be booted out in 1992.

Mr. President, nobody but NASA and the aerospace industry cares about Mars. We have other problems here on earth that need fixing. Trust me, all but the brain-dead in our party see this as an absurd, cynical political machination. Did you really believe such madness would translate into votes in California, Florida and possibly democrats in Texas?

Why would a republican vote to allow still more illegal aliens to bypass our immigration laws? Oh, cynical political manipulation. Back-fired on two accounts: Predictably, Hispanic and left-wing groups want more-won't vote for you. Second, this has made many of us very angry. I know sane democrats who understand that rampant, unchecked immigration costs us billions and represents a national security issue. Karl and the nitwits should be publicly flogged and sent to look for bin Ladin for this great idea.

It's the economy stupid!! Do you remember that awful noise? Well, it's back once more and Karl and the nitwits have totally missed it like your father's group of nitwits did back in 1992. Have they ever talked with anybody who truly has to work for a living? I appreciate the tax cut although the AMT manages to somehow turn mine into another tax increase, but this has not translated into job creation anywhere near what Karl and the nitwits promised.

Which leaves us with the question of the day: How are we on the verge of the greatest political collapse in history?

Bluntly, Karl and the beltway nitwits think people like myself will just go and pull the lever BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION. Karl is half-right. The chance of me voting for the new JFK, another hypocritical, multi-millionaire "champion of the people," from Massachusetts is virtually nil. But if I stay at home in November, fail to contribute, money time or energy and quit trying to point out all the success stories of this administration against the growing tide of disillusionment and hate against my President, there will be no second term.

So Mr. President, maybe it's time to talk with some real people. Talk to your father. He has heard the sound before. Maybe you should get some people outside the beltway to give you advice. But you better do it very quickly. Make no mistake. The grim sound tolls for you. Like many republicans, I don't like the sound.

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